Most unfeeling doctor in the world and other true tales from the emergency room

When I mention that I work in an emergency room, people usually say, 1. Are you a nurse? 2. Wow. That must be really hard. 3. What's it like? This is what it's like to be an emergency doctor. That teenager puking up two liters of vodka and his stomach lining at triage? Yup. Blood pouring out of a terrified pregnant woman? Call me. And, of course, the patient who no longer has a nosebleed screaming at me across the department, "YOU are the most UN...