The shame spectrum The shame family of emotions The inevitability of shame Unloved and left out Exposed and disappointed Joy and the birth of self-esteem Shame and the growth of self-esteem The masks of shame Avoiding shame Social anxiety (Lizzie) Indifference (Dean) Promiscuity and addiction (Noah) Avoiding shame in everyday life Denying shame The idealized false self (Anna) Superiority and contempt (Caleb) Blame and indignation (Nicole) Denying shame in everyday life Controlling shame Self-mockery (Nora) Self-hatred (Ryan) Masochism (James) Controlling shame in everyday life From shame to self-esteem Shame defiance and narrow identity Shame resilience and expanding identity Building pride Sharing joy Appendix 1: Pre-test scoring and discussion Appendix 2: Exercises Acknowledgments Notes Bibliography