Includes index Electronic book Electronic reproduction. New York Harmony/Rodale 2008 Available via World Wide Web
Contents:
Why can't we all just get along? What the experts say The dark side of human nature Why we secretly love to hate Three ideas that can change your life Diagnosing your relationship How good is your relationship? : the relationship satisfaction test What do you really want? The price of intimacy The relationship journal Good communication vs. bad communication How we control other people Three troubled couples How to develop loving relationships with the people you care about The five secrets of effective communication The disarming technique Thought and feeling empathy? Inquiry : "did I get that right?" "I feel" statements Stroking : "I it" vs. "I thou" relationships Putting it all together : solutions to common relationship problems Making the five secrets work for you Mastering the five secrets Using the five secrets in real time : the intimacy exercise Intimacy training for couples : the one-minute drill Common traps and how to avoid them "Help! the five secrets didn't work!" Helping and problem-solving Hiding your head in the sand : conflict phobia and anger phobia Apologizing : "Can't I just say, 'I'm sorry'?" Submissiveness : "I must please you" Resistance revisited : "why should I have to do all the work?" Advanced techniques Changing the focus : is there an elephant in the room? Positive reframing : opening the door to intimacy-and success Multiple-choice empathy : how to talk to someone who refuses to talk to you
