The way I hate him

"Why am I holding a box of stolen memorabilia in my arms? It's called ... revenge. After failing my last semester of grad school, I decided to come back to my hometown and wallow in my boyfriend's sympathetic arms. Instead, he proceeded to dump me ... for being boring! Now, I'm not typically a spiteful person, but there's only so much I can take. Hence why I'm holding the box of his most cherished possessions ... stolen possessions no less! The p...