A damsel not in distress!

Once upon a time, hidden deep in a valley in a magical land far away, there was a very tall tower. And trapped at the very top of that very tall tower there was a damsel -- in distress! The only problem is, the damsel is not in distress. She keeps telling the narrator that she's perfectly fine. The 'terrifying beasts' in the moat are a family of ducklings. The 'prickly brambles' are her rose garden. And the 'wicked old witch' is actually her gran...